Three reasons why people can’t feel you. Sadly.

In a city where 24 hours are sometimes not enough, meeting new people is just as common as disappointments. How many of us have already invested their precious time only to be left on the side of every opportunity? Those interested yet uninteresting people who draw your energy, time and sometimes even your money for the purpose of accomplishing their mission, whatever it may be, does that not remind you of anything? It is difficult to unmask these characters at first, but believe me there are signs that do not deceive and will save you both a lot of time and paracetamol my dear. Don’t waste your time anymore, I got you.

The introduction: What, what did you say?

6 pm I make my way to the Addisons Residence, a trendy spot in the city of Toronto where the clientele is distinguished by its style as well as by its manners and where you can entertain yourself by trading several balls on the ping pong table while remaining classy. I get closer to the bar, and find myself across this well put together man, he looks like a trader, never seen him before. He calls out to me and we start discussing since this is what he wanted. Quickly, I ask him this usual question to find out what he is doing in Toronto (this immediately sets the tone and gives you a hint on the potential nature of your relationship: friends, business partners?) A simple question for which the answer was comprised of too many words and lengthy sentences all in order to lose me. He was clearly not comfortable telling me what he is doing for a living. It only took a few exercises of decryptions to register that he simply wanted me to understand that he was a phone salesman.

There is a specific naming for each and everything, be brief in your personal introduction using short sentences (2 in general) and be honest about what you do for a living (don’t do too much): I’m the founder of the first consulting and lifestyle concept for guaranteed distinction”.

The questioning: be inquisitive 

We were still at the bar, more than 10 minutes had already passed and I shyly continued to sip my cocktail. Curious to know a bit more, I showed myself to be attentive and was the only one, Unfortunately. Yes, he was only talking about himself  and nothing else but himself all while forgetting the fundamentals: if you want to master the art of conversation, it is important to let your interlocutor know that it is about him first and foremost. Show him that you are truly interested in who he is and that you are not simply doing all of this for your own personal gain. Be the person who discovers, who leads the conversation and who asks questions to know more. This shows expertise and also major confidence in self. When it comes to knowing about you, he will find out at a later time or only if he asks about you ladies and gentlemen.

What’s up? Le follow up

After this quarter of an hour of torture (and this desire to sleep), I still couldn’t understand the point of our conversation but I still hoped that it had a business intent (eventually) or that it leads us to other meetings amongst friends. Therefore, as courtesy I leave him my contact information for the future. without much hope anyway. As we often say, you must strike while the iron is still hot and never wait too long at the risk of seeing it cool down. Without great surprise, it is not within 3 days following our meeting (the rule) but 8 days later that I heard from him. He wanted to know if I was interested in the brand new commercialized marketing solution from his company. All this for that, you may be wondering? Ultimately, the best way to not lose the interest of someone you appreciate is to stay in their memory. Introduce yourself with class while always staying discreet and fully respected by your interlocutor, do not seek to go further.

Try for yourself!

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